Far Away
by Midnight Raptor
Summary: A Skate AU songfic oneshot to the song Far Away from Nickelback.Sawyer's POV after they get rescued.FLUFF.My first fic so be gentle.PLease R and R.


_This time, This place _

_Misused, Mistakes _

_Too long, __Too late _

_Who was I to make you wait_

It's been a little over a year and a half since we were rescued from that damn island. But sometimes it don't seem that long. Hell, it feels like we were on that shithole just yesterday. A really depressing thought. Well, maybe not completely depressing. After all, being there sure did have its perks. And one of them is standing right next to me.

Looking out at the stretch of sand before us, I remember the day you sat in court, awaiting the verdict on your trial. I sat in that chamber too because I swore to myself that I wasn't going to let those bastards take you. I remember you staring sadly at nothing in particular as the jury came back into the room, ready with their decision. Seeing the defeated look on your face made my insides burn, my fists clench, my heart ache. I remember one of the jury members stood up and cleared his throat. Time seemed to have stopped right then and there. I turned my eyes away from your face because I couldn't take seeing anymore of your pain. Then the man said the word both you and I had been dreading: guilty. But before anyone could say anything he added something else. That you were not to serve life in prison but instead go free. They had decided that the island had been your punishment. I remember looking up, not believing what I just heard. I remember seeing you, your expression just like mine. You were going free.

I can't look at you right now because just the sight of your face might send everything spilling out of my mouth. And that can't happen. Not after all that I've gone through to set this up. Now I just got to live for a few more minutes.

"You know, this beach is real far off, Sawyer." you say. "Why again did you take us all the way over here?

I play with your hand which is entwined in mine, smiling. "Well, Freckles, must I remind you that it's your birthday today. And, as the birthday girl, you're inclined to somethin' special."

Although I can't see you completely, out of the corners of my eyes I see your face turn toward mine, an incredulous look on it. "So we wake up at 5 in the morning to drive to a beach that's 4 hours away from our house? I mean, our backyard is practically a beach"

"This place is special." It's the only answer I can give you without tempting myself to say everything else that I have planned.

You look around, as if searching for a particular sight that would make this beach 'special'. "It looks pretty normal to me"

My grin grows wider. "You're not looking hard enough, sweetcheeks"

Cocking an eyebrow, you squint off into the distance, determined to see what was so special about the place. I chuckle to myself, knowing that you won't figure it out until I tell you. I raise my eyes from the sand at my feet and look out ahead of me. A little glint of something catches my gaze. _Almost time_.

As I see the sparkle ahead, I think about you. Kate. The only person that I have ever loved. I barely know how or why I fell for you but I just did and it's the best thing that's happened to me. And now I want to show you just how much you mean to me. I can't believe I've waited this long. But the moment's finally come.

_Just one chance _

_Just one breath _

_Just in case there's just one left_

I take a deep breath, my eyes still glued to the sand. "Do you love me?" My voice is dead serious as the question comes out of my mouth as a whisper.

You look at me strangely. "Well, if I didn't, I wouldn't be walking with you right now, would I? I mean, after all that's come out of your mouth. Takes more than southern charm to keep me happy"

"Aww, that's cold, Freckles." I say, smirking. "So, you mean to say that my talents in bed don't have nothin' to do with it?"

You roll your eyes exasperatedly. "You _are_ something else, Sawyer"

"Well, you said it yourself, sweetheart. I'm the chariot of the devil."

"Oh my god."

My smirk becomes even more noticeable. But I see the glint again and this time it's closer. Just a few steps away, there, buried in the sand. My smile is immediately wiped off. I become serious again. Suddenly, I can't seem to breathe. My whole world comes crashing down on me. I can barely ask the next question.

"Will you do something for me then"

"Uh...yeah, sure. I— Ow!" You yell in pain as you step on something and instinctively I grasp your hand tighter. "What the..." You bend down and pick something up from the ground.

My heart is racing, pounding madly against my chest. I swear it's trying to jump out of my body. I can hear my blood pounding in my ears as I slide my eyes over to look at what is in your hand. It's a ring. A solid diamond ring with a silver band. You turn it over in you hand, studing it. But, gently, I take it from you. My breathing becomes short and shallow. I know I'm shaking. Slowly, I start to kneel on one leg in front of you. I hear you gasp.

"Oh my god..."

For the first time since we started walking on the beach, I look directly at you. I see your soft, dark eyes and all at once I start to fall into them. They remind me of my lv for you. Now everything comes down to this. This one second. This one chance. This one breath. This is all I have to get this right. I swallow what courage I have left and ask the question that's been haunting my heart and soul for the past 2 months.  
"Will you marry me?"

You stare at me and I, you. I wait for your answer. It seems like eternity passes as I wait. _Say something, anything_. Then, you finally open your mouth. I know that the next word that comes out of your mouth will spell out my fate and yours. You give me my answer.

"Yes."

My face cracks into a wide smile and so does yours. Carefully, I slip the ring on your finger. I can barely control my happiness. As I stand up, you throw your arms around my neck. Overcome with emotion, I pull you closer, wrapping my arms around you. I breathe in your scent, wanting to savor every detail of this moment. I want to cherish it for the rest of my life. And I know I will. Softly, I whisper into your ear the 3 words that tell you how much you mean to me. Words that I'd never dreamed I'd ever say to anyone in my life.

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

"I love you."

_On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance_

"Come on, Sawyer."

"No."

"This is never gonna come again. Once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Didn't I say 'no' already?"

"Just ask her."

I turn away from the people on the dance floor and my eyes settle on a scruffy-looking man sitting in a chair next to me. I give him an incredulous look.

"Golly, you sure don't know the meaning of 'no', do you?" I ask, my voice tethering on annoyance.

The man smirks. "Nah. I'm a doctor. What do you expect?"

I shake my head. "Shoulda known." My gaze shifts from him and land on you. Your beauty takes my breath away and I know I'm staring. The man sees this and laughs.

"Come on. You know you want to."

With great effort, I tear my eyes away from you. I give the man an appraising stare. "Fine. You win, Jack." I take my time getting up from my seat, first pulling at the collar of my constricting tuxedo. Damn, these things are tight. Even with my tie hanging loosely around my neck, I feel like someone is trying to strangle me. I make it to my feet and am about to make my way toward you when I spin back around.

"This better be the last one. Or I swear, I'm gonna do something."

"Yeah, yeah. It'll be the last one. Don't worry."

I shoot him a look of warning before starting toward you. As I get closer, my palms start to sweat and all at once I feel like I'm a teenager at my first dance. I can't believe you still make me feel this way. But it's like every time I'm near you, I don't know how to act. The sight of you in your stunning white dress makes my legs turn to lead and I feel myself start to buck. Somehow, I make it.

You look up at me from your conversation with Claire, smiling and I return it. For a second, I forget why I'm standing in front of you. Then the voice of the DJ breaks through my thoughts.

"Will the groom and bride please come to the center of the dance floor."

I spin around just in time to see Jack walking back to his seat from the DJ platform, a huge grin plastered on his face. Sometimes that jackass still makes me want to throw his lollipop into the ocean. Knowing that I have to go through with it, I turn back to you.

"May I have the last dance?" I extend a hand. I can feel my ears going red at my cliche gesture.

Your smile grows wider. "Of course." You take my hand and once you do I feel the warmth spread throughout my whole body. Slowly, I lead you to the center of the dance floor. I can almost feel everyone's stare pierce my skin as they watch us and only us. Right now, we're the center of attention although I really wish we weren't.

_'Cause with you, __I'd withstand _

_All of hell to hold your hand _

_I__'d give it all I'd give for us _

_Give anything but I won't give up_

Then I turn to you and once again get lost in your eyes. It isn't until the music starts that I snap back and take a hold of you. Gently, I take your right hand in my left and place my other hand around your waist, pulling you closer to me. Your free hand goes on my shoulder. It's then that I realize that we're meant for each other. You fit into me perfectly, completing me, like the other piece of a broken circle. We're not exactly alike but we're pretty close to it; opposite sides of the same coin. We're a different version of each other in a way; different shade of the same color.

These thoughts race through my head as we move. I don't call it dancing because, first of all, I don't dance. Ever. Even if it's with my wife.

Wife. The word feels strange in my mouth. I've never been one for commitment but that was before I met you. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself getting married, let alone proposing. Yet, here I am, at my wedding reception. The thought makes the corners of my lips twitch in a half smile. Slowly, my thoughts drift back to the ceremony just a few hours ago.

I was standing under a little gazebo, rocking slightly on the balls of my feet. A single bead of sweat rolled down between my shoulder blades and soaked into the fabric of my dress shirt. Behind me, I could hear the waves crashing into the shore, their sound gentle and soothing. I could feel my heart pounding madly against my chest. _Oh, god_. Reaching into my inside pocket, I pulled out my vows and re-read them for at least the millionth time. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this_.

Looking up for a brief moment, I saw Jack standing slightly to the side, his hands clasped behind his back. My best man. A small glint of gold caught my eye and I saw his wedding band, matching with the one Ana wore on her finger. Something that I would be wearing really soon. Next to him were Jin, Mike, and Hurley as my groomsmen. Straight and solemn, they all stood there, their eyes glued to the end of the aisle. I turned my attention back to the piece of paper in my hands._ This is it_, I told myself. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a door being opened. The audience shifted in their seats to see what had happened. I raised my eyes and all at once the world slipped away.

You were coming down the aisle. A huge smile adorned your beautiful face. My heart fluttered. My stomach dropped to the floor. My mouth hung slack. Nothing even came close to what I was seeing now. You were just so perfect, right then and there. To your right was a man with close cropped gray hair. His face was stern yet at the same time he was overjoyed. He beamed at everyone present as if to say, _That's right, I'm walking the bride down the aisle_. Sergeant Sam Austen. My future father-in-law. Well, technically he wasn't. It was that bastard Wayne but you and I had refused to remember him as a part of this.

I couldn't stop staring at you and it took me a while to remember that when you had reached the gazebo that I was supposed to lead you up. A train of curses paraded in my head as I took you by the hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack grinning stupidly at my momentary stall. I threw him a warning glance and continued to guide you forward.

After that, I can barely remember what had happened. One moment I was lifting your veil, the next I was reciting my personal vows to everyone to hear, something that I absolutely despised doing. But I do remember you practically smiling the whole damn time. I also heard a baby's cry echo in the silence as we were exchanging rings.

"Unk-le!" screamed the high pitched voice of a little girl.

My eyes shifted from your face and landed on that of a baby girl sitting in the lap of a teenage Walt. A smile tugged at my lips as I looked at my almost 2 year old god daughter, Jade. God, she looked like her mom. Sun's round face was really apparent in her daughter. I winked at her, causing the toddler to squeal with delight. You chuckled and I remembered what I was in the middle of.

I look at you now as I replay those moments in my head. Up to now, I still can barely comprehend the fact that we're married. Joined together legally. I show a small smile as think about the fact that this is one of the few things I've done that was actually legal, which was pretty sad.

You giggle and your eyes dance with amusement. The sound of your laughter makes my heart flutter. Yes, you still have that effect on me.

"I'm never going to forget this." you whisper, your soft eyes now filled with meaning.

I raise my right hand to your face and cup it gently. Slowly, I lean in closer. "Neither am I."

For a moment, we just look at each other. Then I close the gap between us. You tip your head up and your eyes flicker shut. I follow in suit. When our lips meet, it sends a jolt through my body and emotion pumps furiously in my veins. I've kissed many women. Many women who didn't mean anything to me. Those kisses were hungry, rough, and empty. Not like this one. The way I kiss you now is nothing compared to all the others. This one was filled with promise and comfort, tenderness and meaning. And right then and there, I swore to myself that I was never going to leave you. Not in a million years.

Reluctantly, we break apart, each wanting to savor every moment of it while it lasted. The music starts to fade and I know it is almost over. You look deep into my eyes and I fall in love with you all over again. And as I gaze back, I know you feel the same way too. Again you lean forward but this time to the side of my head. I feel your warm breath against my skin. Then you open your mouth and whisper the 3 words that tell me how much I mean to you. Words that I'd never dreamed I'd ever hear anyone say to me in my life.

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

"I love you"

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away _

_Been far away for far too long _

_But you know, you know, you know_

But all that was years ago.

_I wanted _

_I wanted you to stay _

_'Cause I needed I need to hear you say _

_That I love you _

_I have loved you all along _

_And I forgive you _

_For being away for far too long_

I watch you now from far away, knowing that this will always be my view of your life from now on. Something that tears me in two just thinking about. I see your face and my heart breaks to watch your grief. Every day of your life goes by like this. Every day since I left it's been agony for you. I know that. Because I've seen it.

I know you want me there, to cry on, to lean on, to help you when you don't know what to do. But you know I can't. I know it feels like it's been a lifetime since I was last there. But there's nothing I can do about it. And I'm sorry.

For the past few years I've been so far away from you. Yet my missing presence haunts you, torments you, until the pain is too much. I know that sometimes you feel like just giving up on life. Sometimes you curse it for all that it's done to you. But you hold on. Why? Because you have to. You carry on even though it hurts. You know I still love you and it gives you strength. You'll keep on going, to the end. No matter what happens.

_So keep breathing _

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore _

_Believe it _

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

I know it's too late to say this but I just want you to know something. I promised myself that I was never going to leave you. Ever. No matter what happened. I know it seems like I broke that promise, but the truth is I haven't. I've never really left you. And I never will. This may seem impossible, seeing that I'm long gone but it's not. So just know this. I'll always be here. You can't see me but I am. I'm in every aspect of your life. I'm the sunlight streaming through the windows. I'm the rain pouring down from the sky. I'm the wind blowing softly past the trees. I'm the tears that roll down your cheeks. I'm the smile that creeps onto your face on rare occasions. I'm the laughter that escapes your mouth.

You look at Jake now and it's like a routine. You start to stare and he asks you what's wrong. But you can't bring yourself to say it so you just shake your head and reply with a noncommittal "nothing". He knows that it isn't "nothing" that makes you look at him the way you do; sadly, painfully, tiredly. But he knows you don't like talking about it. He sees your agony everyday and it pains him to look at you like this. Even if he's only 6.

I know you've tried to explain to him what happened to me the night of the 10th day after his 1st birthday 5 years ago but he's never really understood it. He always asks when will daddy be back and you can't bring yourself to answer that. But one day he'll understand. One day he'll know.

As for you, I want you to hold on. I know it's hard but please, don't give up. Don't let go of life just yet. I'll help you through it, I promise. And just know this: that no matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'm never going to be too far away.


End file.
